Calling a spade a spade? [Archive] - Front Range 4x4 Forums

ColoRaider

July 3rd, 2011, 10:30 AM

dont know enough to really comment, but I will give it a shot. From what i can tell about the mother in law she sounds like a grade a B-, if it was my MiL, she would have a heaping helping of further "pub related " comments coming her way, im not one who is known for holding their tongue.. I agree with some of what she says, but other parts, not so much. I don't give a rats A$$ whose house I'm in I will eat what I want or don't want to. From the surface of the letter they both sound like a couple of gits but the MiL is the only one I can really make an educated comment on...although this could be due to my upbringing that we live by the adage "mi casa tu casa" if you don't trust or care about someone enough to let them make themselves at home in your house, then don't invite them over. I think there is an old Zen proverb about learning more about the person talking smack than you can learn about the person they are talking about it applies pretty well in this case. Funny letter though.. gotta love other peoples family drama.

RockyMtnHigh

July 3rd, 2011, 10:53 AM

From what i can tell about the mother in law she sounds like a grade a B-, if it was my MiL, she would have a heaping helping of further "pub related " comments coming her way

I suppose it's not shocking that you and I agree on this, the mother in law sounds like she's a bit stuck up, from what she mentioned in the letter. There seems to be more to the story too http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/868002-father-of-staggeringly-rude-fiancee-hits-back-at-miss-fancy-pants

‘Ever since that meeting, we call her “Miss Fancy Pants”. I think she has her head stuck so far up her own arse she doesn’t know whether to speak or fart.’

:lmao:

Then there's this:
She also questioned why the Withers could not contribute much to the 29-year-old’s wedding to their son Freddie.

Sounds like a stuck up b!tch to me!

JeffX

July 3rd, 2011, 12:20 PM

There's nothing untrue in the letter.

The bottom line is the girl was rude per British etiquette. No excuse.

Withers also talked about the importance of being married in a castle? Gimme a break!

She is a spoiled, yet broke young woman with no manners. Mrs. Bourne is right.

Instead of correcting her poor conduct, Withers started an internet firestorm that will cause years of family strife.

RockyMtnHigh

July 3rd, 2011, 03:45 PM

:lmao:

Okay dude, if you say so! :thumb:

Chris

July 3rd, 2011, 04:52 PM

Anyone that bows to a future mother-in-law like that would live to regret it as the ***** continuously would expect her to change to meet her standards. I say stick to inbreeding the flowers and remember humans aren't as compliant. ;)

Heather

July 3rd, 2011, 11:21 PM

Is this the English version of the Onion? Wow! Sounds like that family dynamic is going to be awesome after they get hitched (/sarcasm). Sounds like the MIL has a touch of the uptight, but the DIL is horribly inconsiderate. Demanding an elaborate venue with no way to pay for it is...icky.

Hypoid

July 3rd, 2011, 11:29 PM

That boy is in for a heap of trouble!

Oh well!!! Some day he'll get fed up and tell both those wimmins what they can do with their opinions.

grump out...

Haku

July 4th, 2011, 02:54 AM

The bottom line is the girl was rude per British etiquette. No excuse.

You mean the outdated supposed "rules of etiquette" that no one under the age of 60 adheres to anymore? Britain has gotten a lot more progressive and I don't see the vast majority of Brits following anything like what this lady is saying. Wanting a wedding in a castle aside, having particular food needs and talking like a normal person isn't being rude.

At the end of the day, there isn't much detail to it other then some snooty old lady who is stuck in the 50's writing a whiny letter, and then someone who certainly seems to be a bridezilla in the making whining to friends and family. There is no confirmation about the true wants and needs of the bride and if she does in fact want a wedding in a castle or whatever. All we have is a snarky letter from the soon to be Mother in Law (or from the sounds of it Step Mother in Law) and then the rest of the family just saying she is snooty old lady stuck in "old ways".

The biggest travesty about this whole thing is that its even considered news and being reported. Sure is fun to talk about though aye?

JeffX

July 4th, 2011, 09:07 AM

....seems to be a bridezilla....

Exactamundo. My only point is that the old bag isn't the major malfunction here.

It doesn't really matter how you,me, Rob or Jock run our households.

Showing up to somebody else's house (somebody who's paying for your wedding!) and acting like a diva deserves a letter like this.

This just shows how decadent our society has become.

Everybody wants to 'fry' the woman who wrote a perfectly true letter about a spoiled brat. These days, it isn't rude to be rude. It is, however considered to be rude (by trashy idiots) to tell someone they've been rude. That's why this letter is all over the net. It was more important for Withers to create a spectacle that it was to make amends.

This is a thoughtful synopsis:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/8609683/Heidi-Withers-email-The-mother-in-laws-dilemma-and-the-best-way-to-resolve-it.html

That said, I guess this guy has the smartest comment:

"Who gives a F*CK. This is a private affair and there are many more important things in the world."

Haku

July 4th, 2011, 09:33 AM

It is all in the eye of the beholder though.

We don't really know anything more then what was in the letter and to what extent she is really being a Diva. If we went solely on that letter, then sure she does seem like a Diva. No REAL evidence to say its that way though. Who knows if it was intended to go public at all. Sending it to friends and intending it to go public are two different things. Sleeping in and having particularly food tastes isn't being rude.

Frankly, I'm pretty agnostic about it but currently side more with the Withers chick. That would change if she is truly having behavior fitting a Diva. Lord knows there are plenty of girls that are that way and had everything provided for them and were "daddy's little girl". Dealt with too many of them in Boulder when I lived there. Nice to look at, but their mouth opens and they drop from being an 8 to a 4 instantly. Seems like its pretty common in the UK too, if TV has anything to say about it. Watched some of the UK version of Apprentice recently, and there are some VERY grating girls on there that think they deserve the world. That program is kind of meant to bring that out, but its a bit over the top with a few of them.

Wow, I think I have just talked myself into not liking either of these women. One is an old lady stuck in outdated ways that doesn't signify the current style in Britain unless you are a Royal (and even then its a bit stuffy) and the other has serious potential to be a grade A diva. Can't really say since there isn't evidence, but I guess thats how it goes.

Chris

July 4th, 2011, 01:50 PM

I suggest we snap a few pics, write some good exchanges and post them on some popular chatty forum and see if we can go viral with something as inane as this. Taking this as fact is absurd, it could easily be total BS on one or both part. When I taught computer skills in elementary schools I taught "web validity" so kids could determine if something is true, reliable and honest. Gossip doesn't meet any of the requirements. ;)

RockyMtnHigh

July 4th, 2011, 02:53 PM

Everybody wants to 'fry' the woman who wrote a perfectly true letter about a spoiled brat. These days, it isn't rude to be rude. It is, however considered to be rude (by trashy idiots) to tell someone they've been rude. That's why this letter is all over the net. It was more important for Withers to create a spectacle that it was to make amends.

Perfectly true? How do we know the actual facts of what happened during that visit, were you there?

How late did she stay in bed in the mornings, 30 minutes, an hour? We know the snob who wrote it says she needs to become accustomed "house norms". What is that exactly? My grandfather used to wake up and start his day at 3 AM every day and he damn sure didn't expect his guests to do the same.

She insulted the mother-in-law in public, fine, but when did that come? Could it have come after being knit picked to death or from the MIL being equally insulting? Perhaps she didn't like being put into her place.

Screw that, if you don't like something I am serving, I don't expect you to eat it, because I sure as heck wouldn't either.

As Josh stated we don't have the answers to any of these questions to base a solid judgment on the daughter-in-law, but what I do see is that smug ass closing, "about catching the most eligible young man." Before that, the busting on the brides family for having met some hardship and not being able to contribute much to the wedding. She to me, sounds like she is full of herself, her money and thinks she is royalty with that British etiquette crap.

As far as making it a spectacle, I don't see how anyone could hold the soon to be bride responsible for sending it out to her friends and her friends doing what they did with it.

JeffX

July 5th, 2011, 07:16 AM

...Perfectly true? How do we know...

Whether or not the letter is true is not in question.

What you would/wouldn't do is inconsequential. People in CO aren't expected to have manners.

I used to work in the UK. The expectations are well known and people have a sense of decorum about how they conduct themselves.

Your elaborate defense of an (obviously) spoiled young woman doesn't change the facts.

I agree the old shrew is a bit much; I'm just saying she is correct.

.

RockyMtnHigh

July 5th, 2011, 08:35 AM

Your elaborate defense of an (obviously) spoiled young woman doesn't change the facts.

What facts?!?!?!?!

It's simple, you weren't there, you don't know how anyone conducted themselves.

All we see is a smug ass letter and that alone brings into question the interpretation of the events by it's author.

ColoRaider

July 5th, 2011, 11:06 AM

Isnt the old bag breaking her own rules of manners? I'm sure that sending a loaded email to your future mother in law breaks some rule of etiquette, I think it was just below "pinkies out whilst sipping tea, and always nibble the crumpet"
"Nibbling the crumpet" btw is my favorite euphemism EVER!

SCRubicon

July 5th, 2011, 04:59 PM

Thoughts?

I love Brit humor... :lmao:

Jackie

July 5th, 2011, 05:20 PM

Andrew

July 5th, 2011, 07:21 PM

Hehe! The part that got me was the old lady suggesting that the bride's parents "should have saved" for the daughter's wedding. WHAT??? It was all we could do to save for our daughter's college and keep a roof over her head as well as help her get a car because we refused to pay for a dorm. The cost of the wedding (which we see coming in the near future) will largely fall in her hands. After all... we got her through college debt-free, so she should be able to step it up a notch and pay for her own fairy-tail wedding if that is what they want.

I personally enjoy the casual weddings where everyone shows up in casual clothes and just simply celebrates as opposed to all the hype. We shall see what transpires!!! Tea anyone???

I'll take a Bud-Light!

Heh...well traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding.

I'm not one for tradition though. But being involved in the process (getting married next month), it is interesting. We were going for a low-budget affair - at least something that we could afford to split 50/50 with her parents or something. Nope, now that she is involved, the future MIL has probably increased the cost of our wedding 10x (okay maybe not quite that much). Open bar, slip covers for chairs, videographer (we did get a good photographer, but that was more important to me than video), twice as many guests, etc. Oh well - now we aren't really paying for anything for the most part.

JeffX

July 5th, 2011, 07:26 PM

What facts?!?!?!?!

Unable to support your opinion, you simply decide to dispute the factuality* of the point of discussion? LOL

None of the cited conduct has been disputed. Fact vs fiction isn't part of this discussion.

I think it's rude for B2B to act like a spoiled b1tch. You think it's rude for MiLto state the facts. I understand.

*made-up word

Jackie

July 5th, 2011, 07:42 PM

My parents were both deceased when I got married and Britton's parents were broke. We paid for everything ourselves and managed to have a nice wedding and Grand Canyon honeymoon on our our own dime. Fancy??? NO! Fun? YES! Would I have it any other way? NO!

JeffX

July 5th, 2011, 07:45 PM

Jackie

July 5th, 2011, 08:11 PM

:lmao::lmao::cheers:

Haku

July 5th, 2011, 10:06 PM

My sister got married a few weeks ago, and I REALLY liked how they did it. They did it in the Quaker tradition, where everyone sits in a circle and rather then have a priest there running things, the bride and groom run it by saying their vows to each other and such. It was direct family only which turned out to be about 16 people including the bride and groom. We did it in that backyard of my dads house. Started at 11am and all the festivities were done by 4pm. It was the first wedding I have been to that I truly enjoyed.

As for the silly Brits in this story, the supposed "facts" being quoted are unsubstantiated and calling them facts is wrong. Being a skeptic, just seeing something written down in a letter with no real context for what signifies rudness, "lolling about in bed", dictating what they eat, and many other things. Jeff, I still hold that what your idea of what is considered normal behavior in modern Britain is outdated and that they have grown to be much more progressive about things these days. I can't say for sure since I haven't experienced it in person, but the "rules of manners" doesn't seem to apply as heavily or at all anymore and even where it does it is only with a certain age group (60's and up). Without some context to the potential Step Mother in Law's letter, it just looks like a grouchy old lady stuck in old ways and who is angry that people don't treat her like the Queen.

RockyMtnHigh

July 5th, 2011, 11:41 PM

Fact vs fiction isn't part of this discussion.

No, then why do you keep dropping the word FACT around? You even did it in your last post.

You think it's rude for MiLto state the facts. I understand.

Let's see, fact is defined as a truth known by actual experience or observation, you have neither!

Without the account of someone else that was actually there, what you do have is hearsay, which is defined as an item of idle or unverified information.

Since FACT isn't the question as you say, I see nothing wrong with the way she behaved (of course I want more actual facts and not just one persons account), then again I am from Colorado and not expected to have manners, so I guess my opinion doesn't really count. Which kind of makes me wonder, why did this subject come up on a Colorado forum? :lmao:

Haku

July 6th, 2011, 12:56 AM

why did this subject come up AT ALL? :lmao:

Fixed that for you :p

RockyMtnHigh

July 6th, 2011, 01:41 AM

Fixed that for you :p

:thumb::lmao::lmao::lmao:

JeffX

July 6th, 2011, 05:37 AM

...As for the silly Brits in this story, the supposed "facts" being quoted are unsubstantiated and calling them facts is wrong....

The facts aren't even disputed by the accused.

Focusing on the distraction rather than the discussion makes this a non-discussion. You've not retorted to a single point I've made and wasted pages (and God knows how long!) refuting the original point of discussion. This ludicrous strategy wouldn't last 10 seconds at a junior high debate.

Based on your response, the most appropriate reply is simply.....

....Buuuuuut I want (it) in a castle! Waaaaah!!!!....

Haku

July 6th, 2011, 10:18 AM

You have one thing right.....this is like Junior High School all over again.

Congrats. As always, you are right and we are all wrong.

RockyMtnHigh

July 6th, 2011, 11:04 AM

As always, you are right and we are all wrong.

Kind of like the e-locker thing, huh? :lmao:

Heather

July 6th, 2011, 02:49 PM

Forget the wedding. Get married over the phone. Venue/financial problem solved.

Jackie

July 6th, 2011, 04:56 PM

Forget the wedding. Get married over the phone. Venue/financial problem solved.
BEST suggestion yet!

Do ya promise???
"yeah"
Do YOU promise???
"yeah".

Good.
I now pronouce you husband and wife.
Don't screw it up. Go have fun. Go 4-wheelin" :lmao::2thumbup::D

Chris

July 6th, 2011, 05:56 PM

We offered both our kids cash to elope and both chose weddings instead! We did both comparatively cheap, very different from each other and both a lot of fun because we listened to what they wanted rather than taking over as was done when we got married.

Barb has been known to say "You know there's a 50/50 chance this will end in divorce" when people we know throw huge weddings for their kids. The most recent was a $70k wedding for a 3 month marriage. :lmao:

JeffX

July 6th, 2011, 06:31 PM

.....As always, you are right and we are all wrong.

Kind of like the e-locker thing, huh?

Not 'you all' just 'you both'. I see you have reverted to insults over discussion, as usual. Not surprising.

I'll still take the ARB over a used e-locker any day of the week.

Haku

July 6th, 2011, 06:36 PM

Not 'you all' just 'you both'. I see you have reverted to insults over discussion, as usual. Not surprising.

I'll still take the ARB over a used e-locker any day of the week.

Seems the only way it goes....so yep.

Serious business this arguing about internet gossip.

JeffX

July 6th, 2011, 06:42 PM

Seems the only way it goes...

LOL, I've heard. Not just about internet gossip.....

Haku

July 6th, 2011, 06:51 PM

Sure, I've had my arguments on here. Seems several of them were with you, and there really is no arguing with you. Should I write a letter about you with a bunch of "facts" (however unfounded). Seems like that's the only way to convince you of the character of someone. Since you sided with the step mom on this, I should come out in the right, correct?

JeffX

July 6th, 2011, 07:01 PM

...a bunch of "facts"...

Crikey! Too funny.

The facts are inconsequential. The 'fact' that you are unable to understand that is a bit depressing.

Delete this thread.

Haku

July 6th, 2011, 07:05 PM

Crikey! Too funny.

The facts are inconsequential. The 'fact' that you are unable to understand that is a bit depressing.

Delete this thread.

Wait, what? You spent most of this thread saying it was all about the "facts" stated in the letter. Thanks for being depressed for my apparent lack of intelligence though.

Geez....I feel like a Troll...guess I'll just seal the deal with this thread getting closed/deleted :p

Jackie

July 6th, 2011, 07:14 PM

ENOUGH! Settle down, friends. This thread was very humorous before it got...

Well - I'm not a MOD so...

JeffX

July 6th, 2011, 07:15 PM

...my apparent lack of intelligence.....like a Troll...

I concede. You are correct!

Heather

July 6th, 2011, 07:19 PM

This thread was very humorous before it got...

Weird?

July 6th, 2011, 09:36 PM

:GroupHug:

RockyMtnHigh

July 6th, 2011, 10:04 PM

I see you have reverted to insults over discussion

Insults?

Now I am confused, must be like the word fact, it has a different meaning for you, than the rest of us. :rolleyes:

Delete this thread.

I'll close it, but it would be rude to all the other participants to delete it and we Coloradans have enough problems in the manners department as it is! :thumb: