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Brad
July 7th, 2011, 03:03 PM
You have probably seen this, stole it from the guys on the Land Rover Forums:

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change:$24.00

Coffee: Complementary

TOTAL: $24.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:
1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use your debit card for $50.00.
2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 1-1/8 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew WORLDS LARGEST drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off..
16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19. Remember drain plug from step 11?
20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21. Drink beer.
22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25. Begin cussing fit.
26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.
28. Beer.
29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30. Beer.
31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32. Beer.
33. Lower truck from jack stands.
34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35. Beer.
36. Test drive truck.
37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38. truck gets impounded.
39. Call loving wife, make bail.
40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00

DUI: $2,500.00

Impound fee: $75.00

Bail: $1,500.00

Beer: $20.00

TOTAL: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

Patrolman
July 7th, 2011, 03:20 PM
I guess my question is, does the GM dealer really do a change for $24? ;)

RockyMtnHigh
July 7th, 2011, 03:26 PM
But you know the job was done right!

:lmao:

Out of pure embarrassment I didn't tell many people about my last oil change. The skids I had on the FJC had a hole for the oil plug, you couldn't see the plug hole unless you crawled up under it. Anyway, screwed the plug in and torqued it, filled the oil back up and went to bed. My wife woke me 7 hours later saying I spilled oil in the garage. Went outside to see a stream of oil from the center of the FJ to the garage door, knew exactly what that was, even though I hadn't done it before in all the vehicles I have owned, cross threaded the plug! :redface:

For the first time in my life, I had more money then time, I didn't want to chance re-tapping the threads and screwing it up and missing work again, so I drove to the Toyota dealer and bought a new pan and 5 more quarts of oil. :frown:

So, no more oil changes for me after a 10 hour night shift! :D

Andrew
July 7th, 2011, 03:51 PM
I guess my question is, does the GM dealer really do a change for $24? ;)

Mine is are you actually leaving with a properly maintained vehicle?

Patrolman
July 7th, 2011, 03:56 PM
:lmao:


For the first time in my life, I had more money then time, I didn't want to chance re-tapping the threads and screwing it up and missing work again, so I drove to the Toyota dealer and bought a new pan and 5 more quarts of oil. :frown:

So, no more oil changes for me after a 10 hour night shift! :D

At least you don't own my rigs. The IFS Toyota's from the 80's and early 90's had to take the front diff out to take the pan off. That is a real bummer. Even worse is the Miata. Either drop the entire front suspension and steering, or remove the engine, to get the pan replaced. That would be a big no-no in either rig just due to the work involved!

Jackie
July 7th, 2011, 05:34 PM
My oil change came with a "buy one for $39.95 and get the next 3 free!" (I still have one freebie left).

Brad
July 7th, 2011, 06:54 PM
:lmao:

Out of pure embarrassment I didn't tell many people about my last oil change. The skids I had on the FJC had a hole for the oil plug, you couldn't see the plug hole unless you crawled up under it. Anyway, screwed the plug in and torqued it, filled the oil back up and went to bed. My wife woke me 7 hours later saying I spilled oil in the garage. Went outside to see a stream of oil from the center of the FJ to the garage door, knew exactly what that was, even though I hadn't done it before in all the vehicles I have owned, cross threaded the plug! :redface:

For the first time in my life, I had more money then time, I didn't want to chance re-tapping the threads and screwing it up and missing work again, so I drove to the Toyota dealer and bought a new pan and 5 more quarts of oil. :frown:

So, no more oil changes for me after a 10 hour night shift! :D

You forgot the Beer! :D

RockyMtnHigh
July 8th, 2011, 12:35 AM
At least you don't own my rigs. The IFS Toyota's from the 80's and early 90's had to take the front diff out to take the pan off. That is a real bummer. Even worse is the Miata. Either drop the entire front suspension and steering, or remove the engine, to get the pan replaced. That would be a big no-no in either rig just due to the work involved!

Yep, I started Googling oil pans for the FJC when it happened, I about choked when I saw what was involved. In order to change the actual oil pan on the FJC you have to remove the front diff, the good thing was there is an upper and lower assembly (where the plug is) on the FJC. All I had to do was the lower, it was still a pain scraping off all that liquid gasket crap that they use, but I am glad I didn't have to do what you're talking about.


You forgot the Beer! :D

:lmao: Ahh yeah, beer and lack of sleep is what caused the cross thread to begin with. I would like to say I had a few, but I had just finished one when I did that! Day two I wasn't taking any chances!